Let’s start off with the fact that I’ve probably drafted about 5 different blog entries over the past 2 months but never finished a single one. The thing is, I haven’t completely found my rhythm yet with the new job, new city, new way of life and well, its hard folks.
And with all that is hard in life, my weight has crept up and that is what I am going to talk to you about today. And here is another hard part…being honest. Being honest with all of you. And especially being honest with myself and what I have gotten myself into. What is it that our moms used to always say to us? Honesty is the best policy? When I started writing about my weight loss journey in the beginning, what did I say?
BE HONEST! Honesty is the key to losing weight. Especially being honest with yourself and well, I kind of chose to ignore myself over the last few months.
Sure I can give the excuse of moving across the country, trying all the new foods (and I’m talking ALL. THE. FOOD), and starting a new job, but if I get down to it, I wasn’t being honest with myself. I knew what I was doing. I CHOSE to ignore what my mind was telling me.
So, here I am, up 25lbs from 6 months ago and mad at myself. I’ve been through despair, and pity, and now I’m just plain mad. I started this year off with a resolution to be more mindful, yet I completely threw that out the window on day 2 and said F*** it. Being mindful, to me, includes being honest with yourself. And I was none of the above. But with that anger, I’m taking that fire and putting it back into what I know. Round 2, one could say. I’m going back to the basics.
Or in the wise words of several friends and my ever patient husband, “You know what to do Tracy” and I’ll add in a “Duh!”
So, I’m tracking my food, finding an exercise plan that I LOVE (Piyo Round 2!), and adding in a heaping dose of mindfulness. Listening to my body, my mind AND those around me.
I know, I know. I said I didn’t want to track my food again, but when you veer away from the tracks so far you start heading the wrong way, you have to re-route and start back over. This time tracking is different. I’m not setting out a plan and eating every last morsel planned, full or hungry. I’m eating when I’m hungry and ONLY when I’m hungry. This may mean that breakfast comes at 6:15 or at 9:30. It may mean that I have only snacks all day or a big meal at lunch and not much for dinner. I’m being mindful and listening to what my body wants, but within the limits of a calorie restriction.
The lesson learned, time and time again is maintenance is hard. Losing the weight is not an end point. You hear it, but do you really hear it? The maintenance phase after losing is like a dirty little secret that everyone sort of talks about, but doesn’t really want to let you in on when it comes to losing. You want to lose and get to that goal, but then what? Its trial and error and well I may have made a few more errors than I wanted to over the past few months, but here I am now. Being honest with myself. And most importantly all of you. Correcting course and going back to the basics. Remember, it’s a journey with ups and downs but never give up on yourself.