I recently hit 176 on the scale. That means I only have 1lb left to hit my goal, but I have chosen to forego that last pound right now.
I know, I know. You are saying, “What the frig Tracy? What are you thinking?” But hear me out.
In the process of getting to the 176 from 180 I lost myself. For the past few months, I plateaued in my weight loss and hovered anywhere between 180 – 184. It was frustrating, despite my constant – DAILY – reminder to myself not to get fixated on a number on the scale. So, finally when the scale dipped below 180, unfortunately the crazy clicked on in my brain too. I had another boost of motivation to keep going, but maybe a little too much of it. I got laser focused, to the point of extreme.
I forgot about the journey I was on. The journey to be healthy. And instead all I could think about was a number.
So after some reflection, several long chats with friends, and a really hard talk with myself, I have decided to push the goal of 175 to the side (for now). I’m still on my journey, that will never change, but I’m choosing something else to focus on in a healthy way. Before I can get to 175 I have to mentally become healthier. Along the way I’ve realized my mental health is just as important. And going to extremes or becoming obsessed with a number on the scale is not the way to get to my definition of a healthy me.
I’ve thought about what being healthy is for me and it’s not that number.
Yes, one day I will get to 175. It may even be tomorrow, but being healthy is so much more. It’s being able to walk up the hill to the parking lot at work and not even get out of breath. Carrying a 4 year old up 2 flights of stairs and not even think about it. Running around outside with the kiddo. Being more centered with who I am. Controlling my anxiety and depression better. Going for a run to let off steam. Gaining my confidence back to make smarter choices. And living in the here and now.
Here’s a look back, again to celebrate where I have come: