So life has been in full swing at the Cooke household lately…hence no blogging. But there’s been a lot bouncing around in my head the last few days so I figured it was time to get at least some of it out there.
I’ve been trudging through the figurative mud lately when it comes to my journey to become an intuitive eater.
I know it needs to be done, but it is definitely going to be a hard journey. There is a lot to overcome.
One of the first principles of Intuitive Eating is to reject the diet mentality. Get over the idea of “losing weight”, “losing inches”, “losing something”. You have to focus on yourself and forget the idea of something better is around the corner to help you get to a better version of yourself. I’ve been in the “diet mentality” for 3 years solid. I had an end goal to lose weight and I was focused. I tracked what I ate and I exercised for the burn. But now I have to focus on me.
As existential as it sounds, I have to accept myself as the current self. This concept is so, so, so hard for me. After focusing on that end goal of a smaller self, I forgot to accept just me. I’ve talked about it before, but a lot of it is about learning to celebrate how far I have come.
The constant battle in my brain though to want to track every molecule of food going into my mouth is minute by minute. I go back and forth on tracking food to abandoning MFP altogether. Tracking food became a norm, but it also became an obsession.
My other battle is weighing myself. I know, I know….I have said it; we’ve all said,
You are not defined by the number on the scale.
But holy crap people that is harder to put in practice than saying it when you have weighed yourself EVERY F-ING DAY for 3 years straight. And the scale mostly went down. Not it goes all over the place. Up and down. I swear it even goes sideways.
I keep reminding myself that becoming an intuitive eater is a journey that I have begun just like when I began the journey to become a smaller, healthier me. I’m still on that healthier me journey, but looking more inwards is always harder.
Outside of my crazy brain, what else has been happening? LIFE! First, the kid is growing up. Too fast! Like, can we just slow this down for a hot minute? We had not 1 BUT 2 teeth lost and so the Tooth Fairy put on her wings and got to work! There was a slight learning curve though….the Tooth Fairy quickly learned the value of a dollar bill vs. coins to a 5 year old. Second time, she brought coins.
The independence that reading has given her has been tremendous! She’s on a mission right now to read every Junie B. Jones book she can get her hands on and in the process got her very own library card. We plan on doing the reading program at the library this summer and it brings back so many fond memories of going with my mom and sister or my grandparents during the summer to get my book stamped and picking out the next great book to read.
In other news, Mike and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary this month. I still don’t think we can believe it has been 10 years. I remember it was like yesterday that we were heading out to Vegas to get married at the Little White Wedding Chapel. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I have to say we are definitely getting better with age (and definitely smaller). 😉
Over the past month and a half I have also been pushing myself to the limit when it comes to workouts. I had made one of my goals this year to complete the Insanity Max 30 workout program. I knew it was going to be tough, but I had NO IDEA! I love Shaun T though and I love that this program has been pushing me mentally and not just physically. You have to really push yourself and challenge yourself to overcome a hurdle in the workout and a lot of times it is about the mental struggle, not the physicality of it. Either way, at the end of every workout, I look like a hot mess.
It’s been a crazy couple of months. We will keep challenging ourselves, learn new things, and celebrate the accomplishments we have made.
So, here’s to eating intuitively and throwing out my scale (on most days).